It’s funny how different paths can lead to the same place. Growing up with hands-off parents, I felt an overwhelming need to excel just to earn their approval. Add the weight of stereotypes tied to being a Black woman in the U.S., and the pressure to never make a mistake became suffocating. There were moments I felt myself slipping from reality—working at an international accounting firm, losing pieces of myself in the process. A disappointing fallout in a close friendship made it clear: I had built a prison around me, brick by brick, with perfectionism and people-pleasing as the mortar. Thanks for sharing ❤️.
The pleasure is all mine. I’m glad we have a safe space to share our most intimate experiences of life and we get to heal from our past trauma as black women.
I heavily related to this article. Although, for me I can’t help but feel as thought I tried being perfect and strongly desiring perfectionism as the oldest all while being imperfect at the same time and self sabotaging relationships. But, I’m learning and growing and glowing
It’s good that you’ve taken control of your own life and its direction. Being the first daughter can be challenging in African families.
Thank you Dey. It can be quite difficult for sure.
It's a lot of responsibility!
It’s funny how different paths can lead to the same place. Growing up with hands-off parents, I felt an overwhelming need to excel just to earn their approval. Add the weight of stereotypes tied to being a Black woman in the U.S., and the pressure to never make a mistake became suffocating. There were moments I felt myself slipping from reality—working at an international accounting firm, losing pieces of myself in the process. A disappointing fallout in a close friendship made it clear: I had built a prison around me, brick by brick, with perfectionism and people-pleasing as the mortar. Thanks for sharing ❤️.
"I had built a prison around me, brick by brick, with perfectionism and people-pleasing as the mortar."
Oof! This was loud. Thanks for sharing.
The pleasure is all mine. I’m glad we have a safe space to share our most intimate experiences of life and we get to heal from our past trauma as black women.
I heavily related to this article. Although, for me I can’t help but feel as thought I tried being perfect and strongly desiring perfectionism as the oldest all while being imperfect at the same time and self sabotaging relationships. But, I’m learning and growing and glowing
Thank you for sharing your experience Ketsia. After all it’s the imperfections that compliments our experiences in the most beautiful way.
It's such a conundrum - the push and pull of it all! At least we're all becoming self-aware