I think particularly in America the cultural positioning of rugged individualism seeps its way into everything, even love. My belief is Loveland (the place where love resides) is only reached through others. Whether as a child and parented well (which is a privilege) or through friendships, therapy, or romantic relationships. The point that you don’t have to love yourself first is factual because we are always works in progress but that doesn’t mean we have to be cut off from what makes life worth living as if we are excluded from a prize.
I don't necessarily think it's BS. I just don't think we know what loving ourselves looks like. I think recognizing that he was good man and a good person to have in her life is an act of loving yourself. What I think we get misconstrued is the idea that loving yourself means you're ok with not being in a relationship and that you feel sufficient unto yourself. That I think is the BS of it all. In the end though, the path to loving ourselves does start with someone else's love for us. It serves as a reference point for us to follow and a byproduct of that relationship includes a stronger love for ourselves.
I agree! This part, "In the end though, the path to loving ourselves does start with someone else's love for us. It serves as a reference point for us to follow and a byproduct of that relationship includes a stronger love for ourselves," is what I believe as well. Let's be honest, the "loving yourself first" rhetoric stems from the idea that it has to come from you and solely you. That's just how it has been sold. But being able to choose healthy romantic love that feeds you is an underrated act of self-love.
Amazing read! I felt some parallels in her story through my own love story. I was looking for ways to express it so I’m grateful to have read her words🫶🏾
Your essay about feeling split in between passions — so real. I think our world is presently obsessed with labeling ourselves: “I’m a social media maven, film producer, scriptwriter, and aspiring actress + CEO” the list goes on lol. I think our passions inform our purpose. Maybe that’s what you’re truly seeking out: your purpose, and how your passions can bring your purpose into focus. Maybe…
Young love. What remarkable wisdom this writer holds — not only for her age, but for the times we live in. I was dating at the start of Tinder lol I can only imagine how wild it’s gotten in the age of Only Fans, catfish, and everything else the 20-something’s have to suffer through today. Perspective is earned. Great read
I think particularly in America the cultural positioning of rugged individualism seeps its way into everything, even love. My belief is Loveland (the place where love resides) is only reached through others. Whether as a child and parented well (which is a privilege) or through friendships, therapy, or romantic relationships. The point that you don’t have to love yourself first is factual because we are always works in progress but that doesn’t mean we have to be cut off from what makes life worth living as if we are excluded from a prize.
Thank you for this piece.
I don't necessarily think it's BS. I just don't think we know what loving ourselves looks like. I think recognizing that he was good man and a good person to have in her life is an act of loving yourself. What I think we get misconstrued is the idea that loving yourself means you're ok with not being in a relationship and that you feel sufficient unto yourself. That I think is the BS of it all. In the end though, the path to loving ourselves does start with someone else's love for us. It serves as a reference point for us to follow and a byproduct of that relationship includes a stronger love for ourselves.
I agree! This part, "In the end though, the path to loving ourselves does start with someone else's love for us. It serves as a reference point for us to follow and a byproduct of that relationship includes a stronger love for ourselves," is what I believe as well. Let's be honest, the "loving yourself first" rhetoric stems from the idea that it has to come from you and solely you. That's just how it has been sold. But being able to choose healthy romantic love that feeds you is an underrated act of self-love.
This essay made me feel so warm inside 🫶🏾
Aw, so glad!
Amazing read! I felt some parallels in her story through my own love story. I was looking for ways to express it so I’m grateful to have read her words🫶🏾
Thank you for sharing!!! Reading your story gives me hope that I can find love too.
Your essay about feeling split in between passions — so real. I think our world is presently obsessed with labeling ourselves: “I’m a social media maven, film producer, scriptwriter, and aspiring actress + CEO” the list goes on lol. I think our passions inform our purpose. Maybe that’s what you’re truly seeking out: your purpose, and how your passions can bring your purpose into focus. Maybe…
Young love. What remarkable wisdom this writer holds — not only for her age, but for the times we live in. I was dating at the start of Tinder lol I can only imagine how wild it’s gotten in the age of Only Fans, catfish, and everything else the 20-something’s have to suffer through today. Perspective is earned. Great read