This is a universal theme. How some relationships are there for a season, not for a lifetime. This is not only in reference to relationships where you drift apart, but also where you lose a friend to death. Not to sound dark.
The term soul mates also comes to mind, how people enter your life to teach you a lesson. In your story, you share how your Ex-friend was with you during the period where you were growing up and discovering yourself. She was like an ally, until you realised that you were not feeling aligned with her.
It's natural to want to hold onto relationships, as they become familiar and a constant. I had an experience years ago, with a friend who I saw the positives. But then realised that there was a shift when I spent time with her. I found that she was negative, and indirectly putting me down. With hindsight, I understood that it was her projection and fears. But as you said, it triggered you, as there was stuff that you needed to work on. Being your self-esteem.
In terms of disagreements its healthy not to agree on all issues. I did notice how you with the hair issue, you felt that there was an undertone passive aggressiveness in that you felt judged on how you wear your hair. Although it is up to you, what makes you feel comfortable - straight or natural. Not what others think.
But with me recently parting with a now Ex-friend, I feel you, when you say the ending was not ideal. But maybe it was the nudge you needed to move on and grow. Now you have the opportunity to meet new people, and form amazing relations.
From the dynamics of the friendship, I don’t think you did wrong in ending it. It may hurt to have ended it, and you have a right to grieve, but I honestly think you did not do wrong.
This is a universal theme. How some relationships are there for a season, not for a lifetime. This is not only in reference to relationships where you drift apart, but also where you lose a friend to death. Not to sound dark.
The term soul mates also comes to mind, how people enter your life to teach you a lesson. In your story, you share how your Ex-friend was with you during the period where you were growing up and discovering yourself. She was like an ally, until you realised that you were not feeling aligned with her.
It's natural to want to hold onto relationships, as they become familiar and a constant. I had an experience years ago, with a friend who I saw the positives. But then realised that there was a shift when I spent time with her. I found that she was negative, and indirectly putting me down. With hindsight, I understood that it was her projection and fears. But as you said, it triggered you, as there was stuff that you needed to work on. Being your self-esteem.
In terms of disagreements its healthy not to agree on all issues. I did notice how you with the hair issue, you felt that there was an undertone passive aggressiveness in that you felt judged on how you wear your hair. Although it is up to you, what makes you feel comfortable - straight or natural. Not what others think.
But with me recently parting with a now Ex-friend, I feel you, when you say the ending was not ideal. But maybe it was the nudge you needed to move on and grow. Now you have the opportunity to meet new people, and form amazing relations.
Yes! In the end, this was a learning experience and she'll be able to take what she's learned into the new friendships she's going to make
Thank you for this insight, Sophia! The painful was a teaching moment in the end.
From the dynamics of the friendship, I don’t think you did wrong in ending it. It may hurt to have ended it, and you have a right to grieve, but I honestly think you did not do wrong.
It was most likely going to happen at some point, I agree she had to do what she felt was best for her.
Thank you, Peter! I agree, it was definitely for the best.
Boy, I could have written this. It mirrors a relationship I dissolved exactly in January. Your write-up was healing for me. Thank you.
I think we can all relate. I'm glad it helped do some healing fro you!
Your comment means so much! I'm glad it resonated with you.