Would You Move Across The Country To Start Over?

Girls trip debacles and making big moves

Happy Monday y’all,

How do you feel about girls’ group trips?

I love a good jaunt with the girlies either out of state or overseas, but from what I’m seeing online, I’m learning that people just don’t know how to pick good travel buddies. Y’all, there is a science to this! Your friend who hates going out, your friend who is flaky, and your friend who always complains are not the ones you call for a girl’s trip (and probably not your friends to begin with)! Why waste your hard-earned coins on flights with people who already disappoint you at home?

These “storytimes” have been popping up a lot more recently, and so many questions come to mind when I hear these stories:

Sis, why would you travel with people you don’t like?

Why would you travel with people who have a completely different budget than you?

Why are you traveling with people who expect you to do every adventure excursion ever while you just want to chill in your plush resort hotel bed and relax?

Make it make sense!

I dropped a new video where I attempted to, but “girls group trip gone wrong” videos and storytimes will always do well, so maybe making sense of it is a moot point.

This Week’s Story

Speaking of trips, I have another question for you: would you move to the other side of the country for your dream job? This week’s author, Candis McDow (who we’re so happy to publish again after her last essay with us), is taking the leap at 35 years old for her first boss lady job, let’s clap it up for her!

Take care,

Anayo Awuzie
EIC of Carefree Mag

I Took a Job 6,785 Miles Away From Home

by Candis McDow

Much like my personal life, my career has progressed quite unconventionally. I’ve always led a path of my own and felt no regret or reservations for being different. I’d like to think I’ve spared myself a host of heartache and turmoil along the way as well.

However, the journey hasn’t been easy at all. Just like dating, my writing career has been a blunder: who stays, what goes, don’t second-guess, move with intention. Still, I’ve clung tight to family, afraid to fully put myself out there for the majority of my life. This year, that changes.

Life had become very routine, as finding a full-time job became a full-time job. I’d grown tired of applying for jobs I was overqualified for and was sinking deeper into depression. I place high expectations on myself, so when life’s uncertainties hit hard, I hit myself harder. Needless to say, when a recent job opportunity finally came my way, it was an opportunity that came at the right time, as life and adulting had me by the neck, and the greatest escape was only a flight away.

Accepting a 6-week job in California in the first quarter of the year is my independence baton. I’ll be well over 6,000 miles away from everyone and everything I know, fearlessly letting life lead me. I would have never had the courage to do this in my twenties (my college was only an hour and a half away from home), but I am embracing the bolder me as I grow older.

I took the job for several reasons: Good pay, I get to travel, new scenery, a great escape from home, and, hello—it’s CALI! I’ve only been to California once before on a writer’s retreat and the experience was life-changing. I went expecting to have a 4-day getaway and left with new writer friends, a grander scale of intent, and self-discovery. Needless to say, California holds a special place in my heart.

I’ll be helping administer nationwide tests to select students at different schools. This is slightly ironic, as people have suggested I consider teaching but I never felt it was for me. However, I come from a long line of teachers in my family— my great-grandmother, grandmother, aunties, cousins, and mom have all been educators. I truly believe nothing is in vain.

Year 35 seems like a serious age to me. I’m in my mid-thirties now and only five years away from 40. After the six weeks are up, I’m not sure what’s next. The beauty in that is that the possibilities are boundless. I’m looking forward to it.

I want elevation in every aspect of my life this year, as playing it safe no longer serves me.  I’ve found myself wanting more but failing to try different routes. Contrarily, I know what I want and where I need to be; the hard part is navigating the steps in between to get there. This will be my assignment this year, putting the pieces together to rise to the occasion, and it essentially starts with this new job.

Professionally and personally, I want more. I am upping the standards in my dating life and writing. No more settling. If I want a best seller, I have to manifest it and produce work of the caliber. And if I want a guy who seriously wants a relationship like I do—well, I haven’t quite figured out where to go to meet such a man yet.

Nonetheless, I am walking into this new venture with an open mind and heart. Independence is essential to me and I am excited to see where it takes me. In life, it takes discipline and sacrifice to achieve things you really want, so being away from people I love, especially my mom, who is my best friend, will be hard. Although this is all setting me up for greater, knowing she’s rooting for me and always in my corner will only make me thrive.

Blooming for me looks like letting go and letting God. I realize now more than ever that I am not in control. No amount of planning or preparation trumps the power of God. When I trust in Him, I know I am safe, and the security of that notion is enough for me.

I choose to be optimistic and see the uncertainties of the world as a scouting field. I am coming for everything destined for me, and I won’t stop until it’s mine. Sure, there will be obstacles and setbacks, but I believe it creates character if you can maneuver through them.

I intend to make the most of this outcome and sprout anew. I see this experience as a stepping stone. I want to accomplish so many great things, and a lot of those things will have to come from my own bravery and independence. Taking this job originated from that same foundation. 

Wherever this path leads me after six weeks will contribute to my future successes. My path is unconventional, there is no rubric or blueprint. I’m creating my own way, figuring things out on my own, and though some roads stifle my progress, tenacity reigns supreme. This year I will operate in full bloom, and that means showcasing and owning my talent in its entirety. I’m sprouting 3 hours behind in California on my own because even late flowers still bloom until they’re fully grown.

---

Candis McDow is an author and freelance writer. Her memoir, Half the Battle, is available on Amazon. Candis enjoys trying new restaurants, traveling, shopping, painting, and spending time with family.