I'm Struggling To Find My Tribe As a Black Christian Woman In The Digital Era

Hey y’all,

Wow. Y’all ain’t playing no games! We received over 150 submissions for our pitch call, and the wild part? The form is still open for another 5 days. Girl, get in there. But y’all know we only publish one story a week, right? 😅 I would love to publish as many as possible, but alas, it’s just not possible. If you submitted and don’t get accepted, please know it’s most likely due to lack of space on the editorial calendar. We’ll be working our way through these over the next few weeks, and I know there’s heat in here—can’t wait to get into it.

Also, for those following along on the self-publishing journey, we hit our pre-order goal!! Black Women in Bloom has sold over 100 copies, and we’re on the way to our next goal of 200! You can still get in on the pre-order here! I paused Self-Pub Diaries for now because it wasn’t clear if people were actually interested in that content, but let me know if you want to learn how we hit the first 100. I’m sharing more of the behind the scenes on IG and Threads these days.

Anyway, enough of me yappin’. If you’re in NYC, I’m peak jealous of the legendary summer you’re about to have. Go SPORTS!

This Week’s Story

An exploration we don’t shy away from at Carefree is how Black women are experiencing faith, spirituality, and religion. Whether staunchly committed to a certain religion or foregoing faith altogether, many of us have grappled with what it means to believe in some form or another. In this week’s essay, writer Patience Mutsetse analyzes her struggles with being a Black Christian woman trying to find community in a religion that seems fervently smug in making sure women remain disempowered.

Enjoy the read!

Take care,

Anayo Awuzie
EIC of Carefree Mag

On Finding My Tribe As a Black Christian Woman in the Digital Age

by Patience Mutsetse

Being a reserved woman is one thing, but being a young Black introverted Christian woman is an entirely different experience. As a young Black woman of faith and a firm believer of women’s empowerment, I’ve spent over a decade navigating the complexities of patriarchal church structures. Often, I’ve felt like I didn’t quite fit into traditional church spaces.

Growing up in church as an introverted Black girl, l was one of the quietest in all my Sunday school classes. I was adored by most of my teachers, probably because by nature l was docile and well-behaved. Every Sunday, I showed up with my homework complete, quietly settled in class, and always passed my tests. There was no crazy group of friends who could negatively influence my behavior. l never interrupted any of my teachers with class clownery or posed difficult questions for the sake of debating them.

Given the family I was born into, my behavior was normal. It was expected of me. I was raised by a very gentle, respectful, and collected woman. My grandmother was a typical Christian; she had more acquaintances than friends, and she was never a fan of gossip, small talk, or drama. She highly regarded church as the ultimate place for prayer, worship, and word with no additives.

I grew up just the same—a young lady who rarely spoke about or questioned anything out of my capacity. I was comfortable leading that life until l became a young adult. With age comes a different level of maturity, one that forces you to be more critical and analytical about social issues. l began to question things I didn’t understand instead of blindly accepting them. I began to notice the status of women in church. There were barely any women on the pulpit, let alone any who would speak to issues affecting women.

I had read and heard several stories about the mighty women of God in the Bible. Countless times during Sunday School class, we were tasked with narrating the stories of Deborah, Ruth, Esther, Mary, and other typical anecdotes of women who didn’t let their personal experiences or beliefs define or determine their status in society. Women who positively impacted the social, cultural, economic, and political trajectories of their families and broader communities.

But in my contemporary church, l could barely correlate fearless women like a Deborah or a Ruth to any of the female leaders in our congregation, less a couple of vibrant women l had met here and there. Their fire for God could be easily tamed by their belief of where a woman ought to remain in a patriarchal society. My idea of a powerful, charismatic, and anointed female pastor was preconceived by white televangelists such as Joyce Meyer.

I began to long for sermons by Christian ministers for the Christian girlies. Sermons that could make me feel seen and heard as a woman seeking God in a modern world of billions of souls. Platforms that could make me believe l was not demonic for being passionate about the empowerment of women in church. When l stumbled onto YouTube clips like, “Women with Issues and Tissues,” it made me understand the depth of the void that was within me.

There are a myriad of issues Black women in the church face, like the shame associated with the pressure to marry and stigma surrounding prolonged singleness, or feelings of inadequacy related to infertility, barrenness, or pregnancy loss, or low self-esteem resulting from racialized beauty standards and stereotypes. We can also talk about expectations to be the “strong Black woman,” underrepresentation in church leadership and decision-making roles, the marginalization of Black women’s voices in theological discussions and ministry contexts and lack of mentorship, visibility and representation in leadership and teaching roles. Just to name a few.

The irony is that Black women are often the spiritual backbone of many congregations. Black women are often among the most faithful and active members of the church, leading prayer groups, teaching children, organizing events, sustaining congregations through service, and frequently outnumbering men in attendance. Despite their unwavering commitment and labor, many remain relegated to secondary roles, excluded from key leadership and decision-making spaces. Consequently, most of us are often inhibited from fully operating in our respective ministries because of sexism, misogynoir and institutional barriers that continue to limit our participation and influence.

My first entry point into my long search for a tribe of empowered Black Christian women was the movie War Room. Priscilla Shirer, the lead actress, became the first woman to answer my questions about the validity of seeing Black women lead in the Christian community. We need to see more women on the pulpit, for more women to boldly assume their respective positions in the body of Christ.

My lack of connection with the gatekeepers of patriarchy in my contemporary context has left me frustrated by the exclusion of women in matters that concern them. However, female preachers, like Priscilla Shirer, have been a light and have introduced a whole circle of Christian women into my purview. One being Sarah Jakes Roberts, a child marriage survivor, teen mom, divorcee, and s pastor who speaks with a fierce understanding of women’s daily struggles. Sermons like “Girl Get Up” by Roberts became foundational to my confidence in my identity as a Christian woman.

Our current digital era has introduced me to a whole tribe of Christian girlies. Through YouTube, Instagram, and TikTok, I’ve met women who are defying the odds for Christian women to be recognized, respected, and represented through the work, perspectives, and insights they share online. Communities like Women Evolve and To My Sisters Podcast helped me find a sense of belonging and connection among like-minded Black and Christian women. These digital spaces have provided a safe haven to discuss taboo topics, create meaningful relationships, and reconnect with myself.

Women Evolve, hosted by Pastor Sarah Jakes Roberts, has tackled critical topics around how, as women, we can claim our power and our worth; their work has made it possible to reconnect with the essence of who l am in Christ. These sermons have brought light to the integral role of uplifting women for the sake of the Kingdom of God. To My Sisters Podcast, hosted by Renee lmafidon & Courtney Danielle Jesse Boateng, has delved deep into controversial issues that are often overlooked in church. Topics such as Decentering Men, Being Strong & Soft, and Navigating Female Friendships in Christ have created room to explore taboo topics. These meaningful conversations have been a source of inspiration, liberation, and encouragement to be authentic and unapologetic in our walk of faith.

Also, the recent enactment of Sarah Jakes Roberts as the Senior Pastor of The Potter’s House is a practical reminder of how this word is being applied in real life. Women are being recognized not just as resourceful tools in church, but as powerful leaders and stewards of the word. These communities have made an incredible contribution to the deconstruction and decolonization of women’s disempowerment in church, and in my faith as a woman.

The gift of a tribe that deeply resonates with your core values and beliefs as an individual is such an underrated blessing within the Christian community. For the longest time, traditional church setups limited our ability to express ourselves as believers. Before, l used to shun away from engaging in sensitive discussions, however, online Christian sisterhood circles are redefining faith, community, and women’s empowerment for young Black women like me. Now I boldly walk in my identity and claim my faith proudly and without shame.

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Patie is a passionate social worker with a Bachelor of Social Work Honours Degree from the University of Zimbabwe. She is a feminist leader, creating safe spaces for women to engage in transformational conversations, and a feminist writer whose work has been published in Open Democracy, The Spill Mag, Essence Girls United, Amaka Studio, and Business Insider. She is a spoken word performer and multi-award-winning poet whose work has been featured in Tsonga Mukololo Publications (One Project), Vasikana Project (Menstrual Health Poetry Competition), and YouthHubAfrica (Youth Voices on Ending FGM).